A gift from famous Svejk military family

It’s happening right now: at Prague-Kbely military airport, a very special vehicle is just delivered from the U.S., and it can be revealed, that our famous military family contributed to getting this ultimately advanced piece of military hardware as widely, as nobody else in the Czech Republic.

Delivered in several armored and sealed crates, under heavy security precautions, including heavily armed Czech Special Forces from 102nd Reconnaissance Batallion supervision, the first “Avenger 2” advanced laser anti-aircraft weapon system will become the most precious part of Czech military equipment.

Acquired for the immodest price of 8 million USD, the Czech Republic is now the only country outside the U.S. as the original manufacturer and supplier, who uses this ultimate military arsenal, which fulfills all dreams about 21st century technological development.

This “toy” means a complete paradigm shift in all air operations once and forever. Now, all aircraft operating under 10.000 meters of height (tactical fighters, ground support airplanes, UAVs and helicopters) became obsolete and even useless, as the effective range of this Directed Energy Weapon (DEW) is 10 kilometers in 360 degrees range.

There are rumors, that another, new and yet enhanced version of “Avenger” is in development already, in a joint military-industrial complex operation between NATO and The Corporation, this time adding a “PSY” combat platform, developed by The Corporation, allowing the operators to influence minds of enemy pilots, and turning them against their original benefactors, thus making the enemy personnel the most dangerous, treacherous and malicious weapon of all. Another layer of this unique approach is a Psychological Warfare element, when the enemy pilots will be under yet heavier stress, not only because of the pressure during their combat sorties, but also permanently under massive suspicion of their own superiors.

The Chinese Military Intelligence would do anything to get their hands on this toy, and rumors already surfaced, that somebody in the Czech Army stole detailed construction plans and service manual already, and delivered them to the Chinese via a civilian contact in Hong Kong, so wide internal investigation is pending, and the potential culprit will be judged with comitting high treason by a ruthless Military court, the first time in the modern Czech history.

But for us, the famous Svejk military family, this event is the most substantial in our history, because this particular vehicle will carry the name “Josef Svejk”, in honor of both our dear Grandfather and his Grandson with same name, who inevitably became a special part of the modern Czech military, and managed to acquire this toy for all Czech citizens in a special and until 2084 strictly classified operation, so the national security and impenetrable skies for any enemy will be maintained.

And then, on one possible day that let’s hope will never come, when the vehicle will enter combat and it will take out enemy airplanes one by one – our famous name will shine on that intimidating infrared laser, making the enemy run from the battle cowardly.

But let’s hope we all will live long enough, so we will see the day when all wars will end, and there will be eternal peace on this planet Earth, which needs our attention and sustainable approach to environment. That will be the day when Svejk family will retire from warfare completely and start doing something new: agriculture perhaps. But the current situation is, as it is – and we are still needed on the eternal battlefield for your safety.

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Alan Svejk

alansvejk@alansvejk.com