Estrogen Mafia Training (24): The Blonde Adversary

For us men, to cope with the consequences of present CSR (Corporate Social Responsibility) trends and Women Inclusion is sometimes difficult. To compete with modern, educated, inspiring and shining females in the corporate world is real challenge, and it forces men to change their perception of their female colleagues significantly. However, who is able to open eyes, he can receive amazing professional advantages.

When we are just colleagues, and we don’t compete for promotions and respect of our superiors, all is fine, the relations are good, and even some love affairs occur. We are young and wild, after all…

But when we become competitors, because a new attractive position in the company is offered, for example, and we are equally qualified for that position, everything is different, and much more complicated. In that moment, special female qualities are shown clearly, and to surpass a female competitor seems almost impossible. Their networking qualities help them to establish deeper and friendly relations through the company, and their charm opens doors everywhere.

A common male about 35-45 years old has many duties and commitments, both formal and informal. And unluckily for him, he often lives under the strange law, that he considers his value through the eyes and opinions of other people. His vicinity simply expects many things and qualities from him, beginning with his appropriate dress, car, house, his appropriate spouse… To follow and to copy the crowd seems as an easy lifestyle, but it has also some price. And this price is clearly shown to him, when a new colleague starts in his home corporation.

“Of course, that when I saw her firstly, I was captivated. She was really pretty, pleasant, kind, smiling… she had everything, what a woman should have. But in only few days, I fully understood, how questionable benefit she is for me personally. And I started to worry soon.

Her high professional qualities were absolutely obvious, and I had this disturbing thought – why couldn’t she take my job, and really soon? She will be preferred, and she is better than me. She is more valuable. She can be a bigger benefit for the company. And the top management will prefer her. She shined in our office immediately. Other women were jealous at first, but she managed to make them best friends quickly. And my male colleagues? What would you expect? Can you imagine, what happened there, when this queen entered? Everybody tried to impress!

They could afford it, but not me. My crucial personal problem was, that my own work position was suitable exactly for her. I mean, I am working there for 10 years, but who cares about some loyalty today? Of course, that my work performance had also worse days in this long time. You can’t succeed always. Isn’t it a good reason to change the executive on my position, and to give this responsible and even crucial job to someone else? Someone new, fresh, better, and a Millennial? A female, so the recent CSR dreams can be fulfilled, and instantly?

I tried to hide this unpleasant thoughts and to behave normally in work, but inside me, everything boiled. And I knew, that I can’t do anything, I can’t fight. I can just wait, until a man and woman from the HR department, a perfectly diverse team, they will come to my desk and they will announce me, that my work contract is terminated, and immediately… that is the way how our loving corporation sometimes works, ruthlessly… they don’t play with you. They simply fire you, and in five mínutes, another individual is moving into your corner office.

And I knew, who that will be: her. The Blonde Adversary. What else could I think about her? Imagine, that you spend countless hours in the office, and you know, that in any minute, everything could end… and what will be next? Will I start somewhere else? Do you know, what is the situation in the work market today? How high is the competition?

I thought – should I be more a man, and fight somehow with the circumstances? To keep my job, my position, my respect? But how could I compete with her? Just try to talk to her yourself, and you will see immediately, how easily she can disarm you with her modest smile and one look of her beautiful green eyes, so poignant… what can you do? You see in that moment, that she didn’t do anything against you, she is simply what she is, and only you are perceiving her as an adversary. Not her guilt – yours.

I was thinking about strengthening my position in the top management, or even between the big share-holders of our company. But for them, I was just a foot soldier, you know, a common employee, maybe loyal, but not too valuable and easily replaceable. She was something completely different, and I knew, that sooner or later, they must recognize it too, and they will also calculate, who should be replaced with this queen. And my name will be the first on their list, it’s inevitable.”

Things in his life can become yet worse, when he starts to doubt about his wife, and he even starts to suspect her of infidelity.

“I was never jealous or something, but you know, when things start to fall apart, it collapses all, including your relationships. And to be honest, my marriage somehow failed, I felt it. My blonde colleague managed to take control of my thoughts, and in comparison with her and her 180 cm of height, hidden in a glamorous Prada dress, any other female was a B-class. Including your own wife, even if you promised this particular woman to love her and to be with her in good times and in bad times too.

I started to feel like a loser. I realized, that I am nothing, nobody. Originally, I thought something good about myself, I thought that it was the truth, but all that previous self-confidence suddenly felt like a mere illusion. What did I have, what did I achieve? Nothing. I failed as a husband and as a manager. I was 38 years old, and my sweet dreams about success just vanished.”

But after the first wave of unpleasant feelings, he manages to change his angle of view.

“Later, I had this feeling that I should even thank my blonde colleague, can you believe it? To thank exactly her! And you know why? Because she maybe opened my eyes, like no one else! I was able to see the truth in the mirror… it was painful at first, but then a feeling of desired relief came. And also a hope for a remedy, a change in life!

I decided to leave the company, and to find a new, better place for me. And to seriously talk with my wife about our mutual future.

Maybe somewhere else, a luck and better life is waiting for me, I thought. And again, I was grateful to my blonde colleague, and so much, that I decided not to fight with her, but… to support her!

The next day, I addressed the top management with a suggestion, that she should take my place, and I will provide her all my experience, and then I will leave the company to find a new work opportunity, or start a new business myself. Yes, you hear that right – I emphasized, how she can be beneficial to the company! I didn’t say that she is better than me or anybody – I just told them, that I see a star employee in the team, and she can improve our business operations.

They were really surprised, it seemed. They told me, that they will think about it, and I left. It was just before Christmas.

And imagine, what happened after the New Year! I was promoted, to the position of Managing Director. Unbelievable… they fired my superior, he had some drinking problems or something. They didn’t explain to me, why I was promoted, but I think that my unusual step impressed them. I proved them, that I am able to see farther, then to the edge of my luxurious house in the suburbs. That I can sacrifice my own career for the company, and I also support Women Empowerment. Quite ironic, huh?

And the best part is this – my blonde colleague left. Another corporation allegedly paid her more. Can you believe, that they told me later, that they should listen to me, to my advice, because we could keep her?

We couldn’t keep her. She was just too good for us, I think. So they managed to keep an average employee: me, but at least I won’t leave them when a first opportunity comes. And the same is the result with my wife. I decided to stay, and to keep my pledge of allegiance.”

The lesson of this tale for modern men is this – we meet many challenges in our personal and professional lives, but we can win them just by changing of our perception, and switching to positivity and supporting others. Including women.

Alan Svejk - alansvejk@alansvejk.com

alansvejk@alansvejk.com