It’s The Devil inside me, who seduces me to leave an undesirable personal note here, or rather to describe my personal experience, although I should be a detached, dispassionate, unbiased, open-minded, cold and silent fool.
I spent almost one month in Granada, to understand this ultimately corrupted place well… and it was maybe too long time, as it made me corrupted as well, in many senses, although some sins of mine seem rather hilarious to me now, and I hope, that God has a sense for humor as well, so He will forgive me, all what I did in Granada… like playing music and singing with stoned hippies in a park until seven in the morning, fucking a bitch under very funny circumstances, drinking too high amount of local ‘Alhambra’ beer, which made a primitive animal from me… even a theft, described later.
Not speaking about the ultimately cute Jewess I met there, and ironically, she is the most powerful and lasting memory from Granada for me, not visiting the magnificient Alhambra, or anything else.
There is a perfectly suiting tarot card for any person, loser or ruler, man or woman: and this Jewish girl, she would be certainly Princess of Wands, connected to element of Fire, associated with primal energy, spirituality, inspiration, determination, strength, intuition, creativity, ambition and expansion.
Of course, that every state, nation and religion has many beauties, so even the questionable state of Israel can hardly be an exception, that’s natural, and sexy women corrupt everybody…
But this particular slut, she simply “had that thing”… everything about her was simply so powerful and impressive in the terms of attractivity and feminity, even her imperfections… her slim sporty body of a fashion model, her body language, her cute girlish face, her immature behavior, indicating maybe even some slight PSY trouble, her speech, her long curly hair, her special occupation, which she claimed… and that feeling, when she touched my naked thigh with her naked thigh, or with her soft hair, when sitting next to me! Just by coincidence, of course… but it was SEXY.
Yeah, there was that extremely powerful sexual energy, regarding her… and I have to admit, that she was exactly that kind of bitch, able to steal reason from me… anyway, I made no effort to court her, I even avoided her deliberately, to keep my inner peace, not to be provoked to male madness, but she always occured somehow, as Allah wanted it probably.
Of course, that everybody can meet many sexy bitches daily, you only walk in a city, and you are enchanted by many female passer-by… but this particular slut managed even to penetrate my personal space, not only because of her seductive qualities, but also very practical reasons:
Firstly, just around the moment I met her, my laptop computer, used to write all content on this website for the last three years, which travelled with me to many places, many countries, which never had any problem… it suddenly started to have a problem: the right hinge (joint), connecting the LCD screen with the chassis, became stiff or stuck somehow, or some small part broke inside, and the plastic frame of the screen started to disintegrate…
She never touched the device, and still, this suddenly happens… it still somehow works, but it needs very careful manipulation and ignoring of very disturbing cracking sounds… is it some magic, or coincidence, or sign of God, inspiring me to end this project, and to go into eternal writing retirement?
Secondly, she had a book with her, of course, in Hebrew… and she said, that it’s about a literary author, who is unsuccessful, and he writes a book about his failure, becoming famous, something like that…
Yes, this bitch got me… that’s exactly me, what she described, and my patience to continue in this crazy project, only costing me time, energy and many other precious values, is long exhausted… God simply doesn’t want me to do this thing, it’s so simple.
The charming Jewess is long gone now, back in Israel… but only she is real impression, which I brought back from Granada with me… not counting that damaged crippled computer, whose deformed screen, its lid, which is difficult to open and close, now reminds me her, inevitably.
I have no picture of her, I don’t have any contact, as I didn’t ask for it, as it would have no sense… but I kept a green package of chocolate cookies, which SHE offered me… like an idiot in love… for a week, when I finally got rid of it. But memories and so strong desire to FUCK HER remain, bothering me.
When she was saying goodbye, she said that with that very serious voice and face… yeah, she was different, than most of the bitches, smiling all the time, like mad… and we embraced each other. And I pushed towards her, feeling her young firm sexy body so closely.
And I said, that I will go with her to the bus stop… and on the way, she took two selfies of two of us, probably for a Mossad Intelligence database, to confirm her success in this innocent honey trap, so her superiors can compliment and promote her… and I naturally caught her around the shoulder…
And on the bus stop, I was so bold to embrace her again… and she let me… I am not sure, whether I even didn’t kiss her somewhere, even onto her neck, near her sexy ear… and she let me.
Then, when it was time for me to leave, not to lose my male face and not “to overstay her female hospitality”, I embraced her last time… it was so romantic!
And when I was on my way, few meters far from her already, I turned towards her for the last time, saying, that she will hear about me, yet… but this promise will hardly materialize, as I want to disappear into total obscurity almost daily, being nobody, just another nameless fool, just roaming through the world, playing a djembe drum as a poor but happy and content street artist, maybe even singing some innocent love songs, only consuming, and not creating foolish ideas, exhausting me so much, not pursuing some foolish ambitions and questionable dreams anymore, which are slowly killing me, not diseases or aging…
I met a good inspiring friend in Granada, and when I described him my personal situation and desires, what I would really like to do with my life, if there wouldn’t be those few things, holding me back, like hunger, obsession, and believing in my ‘special skills’, that those must prevail one day, after this long journey of failures and losing maybe, he asked me a disturbingly simple, literally a divine question: “So why don’t you do it, if you know, what is right for you?”
Because it’s so difficult to stop, once you start, once you dig yourself so deeply into this strange world of deep but colorful shit, which you created, all the details, magnificient illusions, free artistry and unrestricted ideas, years of work… once you stop following rules and worldly laws, once you start creating them, once you build The Tower around you, brick by brick, even if it leads to your doom, to Devil’s embrace, to destruction, to loss… and it’s still so easy to break this Tower, to lose everything.
You continue, not because of mere joy of creating, also because that feeling of certain power over a territory is so addictive for any man, and my personal tarot card is The Fool, number 0, it means a very special position, and Rohrig Tarot has very disturbing depiction of it: it’s two faces combined, a male and a female… because nature is of course about connecting these two essences, Yin and Yang. It also means, that there is a good and bad part inside everybody, we all are white and black together… and none of these parts can prevail for long. The other will always find a way.
So, the question is: was The Jewess sent as a gift, fitnah or sign by Allah? I told her, that once I will write about her, she will become eternal… Allah willing. And Allah, in His endless generosity, He allowed it… now she lives in a new world, except her physical presence. Will her life be the same, and mine?
And what about that deck of “Renaissance” tarot cards from Granada, which I discovered on almost my last day there, totally incidentally, and I ‘borrowed’ it without permission or intention to return it (=in fact, I stole it), as any right proper tarot decks must be either given to you, or stolen, so it can acquire the really dark spiritual power? It’s the Gypsy rules!
Is a Gypsy inside me, a royal Fool, who wants to do forbidden wizardry (=male witchcraft), to follow his vices and obsessions, living without a plan, stealing, not afraid of prison, fucking bitches without any responsibility, and doing other bad questionable things… but only physically, not in this sick, fake virtual world, destroying the human kind? Just roaming from here to there, being nobody, going nowhere? Appearing and disappering without any pattern, having nothing to lose, nothing to gain? Searching for nothing, desiring for nothing, having nothing?
Anyway, cordial greetings into Israel, my secret Jewish Granadan love! May we embrace just one more time, and have risky, but exciting unprotected sex together one day… God willing!
You marked me… and did I mark you?
I think I seized one piece of your hair, which you lost, and I found it… and maybe I still keep it in my pocket. You are still with me, regardless of distance or time… you are still with this Fool.
So much about Granada, the corrupted and crazy city.