Tales from a Mosque (1): Kaffir’s Dream

“I had this very strange dream today, Imam Faraj,” a distracted man started talking out of his contemplation, after the highly respected Imam of an Austrian mosque offered him a glass of water, to serve new guest of adjacent Islamic Cultural Centre with hospitality.

“You know, that I am a non-believer, a kaffir. But people in the local neighbourhood speak highly about you, Imam Faraj. That you have understanding for worldly matters, and you can give good advices to those who are seeking the truth in good faith,” the man explained his reasons. “So I took the liberty to visit you, and to ask for an advice. Immediately when I woke up from this unusual and intensive dream, I knew that you are the one I should address and share this experience. I don’t know why, but just visiting this mosque makes me more calm. Still… I feel that there is some imporant information inside this dream, a message maybe, and I would like to reveal it, if it’s important.”

“If Allah will permit, there will a reply. If not, there will be silence, and with help of Allah, you will certainly find the truth yourself,” the Imam replied, but he asked the guest to continue with a gesture.

“Well, this is what I remember,” the male visitor started, trying hard to summarize the exact details. “There was a small river, and there was a woman, who commanded a small, but luxurious vessel. I really wanted to board this vessel, or I wanted to get this woman, I don’t know exactly, it was both related somehow. I simply felt as an important mission to persuade this woman, to get her favor and permission. Maybe I needed the boat to get out of that place – there was a wood around. Or I desired for her love, affection, a fulfillment in a relationship with her, as I felt she and only she is the right one for me in life.

She was looking good, with well developed. firm and toned body. She was a sport woman, an aerobics trainer, and she was so strict and concentrated, but not evil or hostile.

I really liked who I was in the dream, or at least during this sequence. I was also decisive and concentrated, fully aware of my male mission. I simply did what was necessary, and it paid off: later, her shield was taken down, and she admitted me inside. Or did I want to rescue her, like some cursed princess, to fill my inner void with some mission?

The interesting thing is, that I know this woman. Not personally, I mean – there was a case in the media, about a high school teacher, who shot… now excuse me for being a little bit expressive in this sacred mosque… well, let’s say, ‘adult material’. An adult video and related photo gallery, where you could see… everything.

They wrote about her in the media extensively, and of course the ruthless journalists destroyed her professional career. But I was not the only one who was surprised by this woman, I mean, that controversy, that she has two children and works as a teacher, she has a perfect attractive body, she looks good, she has an University education, she is intelligent without any doubt, you know that when you hear her talking in the video… and still, she makes a cheap adult material for small amount money, excusing herself later that she was put under influence of some drug.

Anyway, I suceeded, she let me in. But then, things got complicated. There was another woman, and I suddenly felt that I am just a passenger, I don’t control, they both control, and the woman tolerated me on the vessel, but she quite ignored me, as I lost any respect. So I could stay on the boat, I could still travel the river to some other place, but she was effectively gone. Or was it just a female game? Did she pretend to ignore me, to humiliate me, to test me, my integrity and resistance to such visious games?

But since that moment, I was just a follower. They went somewhere out of the boat, into the wood, and I followed them as a sheep in the back, not able to remain alone on the boat, or to steal it, and to drive it where I like. I left the boat to follow these two women into a dark wood.

They were so fast, so I barely could keep the tempo with them.

And suddenly, there was a man on the right side, who yelled at me, asking for an information, where we are going. I told him, that we go to a public swimming pool, and he can join us.

In that moment, I felt humiliated and embarassed, feeling like a loser, I don’t know why. Like if I would realize the full extent of my position and situation in that moment, when I heard my own voice, as I replied to that man… I felt like a child, like if I would be submitted, like the one who can’t control his fate, his destiny. I was really disappointed.

In that moment, I woke up. And that is all what I remember. Now when I told you, it seems to me that this dream makes no sense… but I can stil see her face, the look of her eyes, the expression of her face… so firm and decisive, but not unfriendly. She was like some dream female.

Of course, that I realize myself, but in this dream, my messy relationship to women was fully revealed, and I won’t even try to deny that. Still,I feel that there has to be a hidden message… I would like to reveal it, before I will let this all go. You know, I am not kind of a man who would like to analyze his own thoughts and mind endlessly. I perceive it as losing time… I bet rather on my insticts in life, than emotions and feelings,” the man concluded his speech with exhaustion.

The Imam remained silent for several seconds, looking closely at the face of the man, like if would be searching for something there. Then he spoke into the silence with utmost certainty.

“The dream you described is a message of Allah that was sent to you, to finally understand, what is the world you live in and you remain confined in, like some slave, although the way out is so close and easy, just breaking the chains from things that hold you back from all values and achievements you desire. But you don’t want to liberate youself, rather remaining in slavery, following female energy like some poor dog, only losing in the end, always.

You always start strong, and you end weak, defeated and humiliated, despising yourself.

There is only one solution: leave your ego, your wordly desires, and submit to Allah. Put Allah into the first place, in front of everything and everybody. Then, you will be liberated, then you will be free. But at first, you have to be willing to lose your nature of a slave, who likes to lose, who likes to hate himself, as this is exactly what those Sirens told you into your ear: despise yourself, so we can control you better!

Of course that you have fear to leave all your life certainties, the things you know, and to submit to the will of another entity, apparently losing your free will. But you don’t have anything like that anyway, it’s just the illusion they put into your mind: you are free, you can do anything! But in practice, you remain in a pen as a right sheep, losing all opportunities.

She won’t save you, friend! Only Allah can save you. But now, you still believe in her, so Allah sent you the message, in His eternal understanding and forgiving of your sins and weaknesses. But how can she, a woman, a flesh and blood, compare with Allah? Not only with power, but also with His mercy and compassion? Did she show any compassion? No. You were left alone again…

With Allah, no one will leave you, ever. There will be a real certainty in your life finally. All people come and go, you can’t change that… they leave, they die, as their time is limited, and you always remain in the world as a lost sheep, as you were attached to them too much. So you get hurt again and again.

If you submit to Allah, this eternal exhausting process will end. There will be a real freedom, and an opportunity to become the man you always wanted to be, to live with morality, to improve the society around you, to get a happy and fulfilling life.

And there will be no fear: no fear of being left alone, no fear of an external force. The government, the police, the courts, the judges, the prisons, the politicians, the officials, the soldiers, the enemy behind national border… all these meaningless worldly creatures will lose any power inside your world. And then, you will be free.

A woman is a creation of Allah. He created her with purpose, to check your integrity. If you are weak, if you submit to her, if you make concessions, she will destroy you, but it’s nothing personal. She does what her nature teaches her: to test men, in order to choose the best of them for mating. It’s as simple as that.

With Allah in lead, a human life becomes completely simple. The first is always Him, and then everybody and everything else. Life gets order, finally.

You said previously, friend, that you are a non-believer, and you said it with some fear in you voice, that you will be despised in this sacred building.

But you are a non-believer mostly for yourself. Only you choose to turn away from Allah, so you suffer. Allah created us all, and who denies that, he or she will suffer. But Allah will offer you a helping hand always, as He is the most Merciful and Compassionate, so He sent you this message, and He knew that you will understand it. Remember, you don’t need her, you don’t need them, you need only Allah,” the Imam concluded his speech and stood up, to show that the session is over. It was time for a prayer.

The man wanted to add something yet, but he felt that it was enough of talking and babbling. The unconscious dream was over, and it was time to start living.

Next part: A Good Girl

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