Wu Corporation: SEMTEX Color Improved Plastic Explosive For Special Forces And Terrorist Use, Demolition Assassination Guerilla, Delivered in Sexy Cool Merry Colors For Perfect Visual Combat Style!

Semtex COLOR
(or “CooLOR”… like, that it’s also “cool”! Got it, fools?)
Heavily improved version of a classic plastic explosive for Special Forces and terrorist use, both in design, cuteness and destructive effectivity!

Main advantages:

+ Devastating power of this upgraded and updated version of famous plastic explosive increased to 286% in comparison with obsolete original from Synthesia Pardubice factory
+ Advanced Counter-detection measures for easy smuggling to destination added (nanites enhanced), invisible to all scanners, unmarked, unidentifiable
+ Made in wide pallette of bright joyful colors, so the striking visual style of your sinister guerilla organization can be preserved, even emphasized! Or you can choose the perfect color, according to your mood, or planned purpose of product use!
+ Sold in nice transport gift toy box (masked as modeling clay for children), thus raising no suspicion… before it goes off, of course!
+ Fully recyclable and ecological, according to Wu’s Guidelines for manufacturing sustainable ordnance!


Manufactured by Wu Corporation‘s Industrial Biotechnology division
A part of reputated Vintage Terrorist collection for stylish hipster urban guerillas
Packed in a cute masking suitcase: COOL!

The product was used during Islamic State armed assault against Prague in August 2016, when an ISIL female suicide bomber, slipping through improvised defenses of Czech Special Forces and Militarized Police, with pockets of her BLACK WIDOW fashion dress stuffed with the product, blew up the Old Town Hall, together with famous astronomical clock, and even local secret armed Jewish Militia SHALOM couldn’t prevent this horrible but effective crime for product promotion! But don’t worry, the building was quickly repaired by the diligent Chinese, so the crowds of tourists didn’t notice, and Czech tourism industry didn’t suffer too much!

Offensive use of the product recommended by IFLA military advisor Marek Chlibek for purposes of controversial Alhambra Conspiracy, for eliminating historical figures of Hit List (at Al-Andalus, Islamic Spain)

Also used widely by Global Liberation Army (GLA), after big theft at a Chinese warehouse.
GLA Global Liberation Army Rebel Insurgent Terrorist Conspiracy - Alan Svejk VIP Islamic Military Affairs

particularly by Mose Akinjide (Sudanese GLA terror cell), who made his eternal terrorist fame in Libya, fighting there as an anti-Gaddafi guerilla, when meeting with an infidel whore Talitha Van Zon, mistress of Mutassim Gaddafi. Firstly he threatened to burn her alive with gasoline (not nice of him indeed, but what can you expect from a ruthless warlord?), but when she confessed, that she is just an innocent gold digger bitch, they both found affection to each other. As a part of their “foreplay”, Mose found very original use for the product… but don’t try this at home with your girls, fools!

Special Unit C102: PSYOPS is another satisfied customer and user!

Or do you prefer an intimate, silent and inconspicuous way of elimination of enemies of freedom, facing them directly, maybe even saying some intimidating goodbye message to them? Then, Walther PPK with Brausch Silencer is just perfect for your subversive needs!

Or maybe some deadly toxins, weapons of mass infection? Dr. Thrax, GLA terrorist icon, recommends!

Remember, that Wu Corp offers their famous Terrorism Financing programme, as a part of their reputated Financial Services, so this cool product can come to good use against enemies of freedom!

Read also:
Semtex COLOR: Cease And Desist Letter
Complaints by Miroslav Kalousek, chairman of National Defence Commission

Wu Corporation: Industrial Biotechnology Division

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Alan Svejk