(Content of alleged Wu Corporation‘s advertisement leaflet, whose originality was denied by Wu’s spokesman swiftly, calling it “filthy forgery to damage our legitimate defence business interests” and “very dumb joke of one of our dumb employees, whose work contract was ‘terminated with extreme prejudice‘, with immediate validity and mercilessly, to prevent any such incident in the future. Wu apologizes for all unnecessary commotion.”)
“… Because old is better and more stylish!”
Don’t rely on those unstable, unreliable and crazy extremists from Islamic State or Global Liberation Army (GLA)! You know the rules of (Counter)Intelligence operations: The best enemy is the one, which you can control yourself… like those naive fools from “Executive Group For Peace And Disarmament” (EGPD)!
In other words: it was never so easy, exciting and convenient, to create your own and stylish front terrorist organization, for special use of higher interests and national security!
That citizen sheep simply need to be a little bit scared, until they will agree with further limiting their civic rights in the name of “SAFETY” and “SECURITY”, mantras of the postmodern world, which bring immense money to few blessed ones… like you!
But one 9/11 was not enough! The sheep need to be under constant tension, that’s how you like them, that’s how they become flexible and open-minded for good ideas of more of that nice, decent, soft, harmless mass surveillance, serving only for peace and harmony!
Wu is able to deliver not only specialized weapons, ammunition and explosives, but also to create complete visual style of your intimidating urban guerilla, incl. corporate logos, color style, sexy uniforms, copywriting (slogans), PR measures, leaflets, to create lasting and deep impression on public… something like much better, modernized and updated promotion poster of 1970s urbam guerilla Patty Hearst and highly reputated visual style of “Symbionese Liberation Army”.
TIP: If you need help with financing of your terrorist organization and armed struggle to overthrow corrupted governments, as war is always expensive, then check Terrorism Financing, Money Laundering, Investment Banking and Legal Services of Wu Corporation, and become our next happy client!
Special Forces of the Czech Army, Counter Guerilla department
“Very satisfied with Wu’s marvellous VT collection, thank you! Like in the good old times before that electronic surveillance madness!”
Mose Akinjide, Sudanese division of GLA (Global Liberation Army)
“With these cute toys, the revolutionary struggle for liberating all oppressed nations becomes pure pleasure. Thank you, Wu!”
Technical – “because every terrorist warlord needs to have those” – based on Toyota Hilux, not pleasing the manufacturer, but profit is profit! Very favored at Middle East and Africa.
Vintage AK-47 – (Type 56 Chinese surplus) for Hipster Terrorists. Wu guarantees, that every delivered weapon was used in a real conflict! Pieces with blood stains, rust and combat damage for an additional fee.
Quad Cannon – for Technical mount, 20mm caliber, Swiss Oerlikon automatic fast-firing cannon, armor-piercing ammo optional
Scorpion – based visually on LT-38 obsolete Czech tank from 1930s, this toy seems no match to modern armored vehicles. But they will be surprised, when Scorpion will show them its real devastating function…
Scud – from Iraqi and Libyan surplus. Limited 350 kms combat range and High Explosive warheads only, we don’t want problems with UN Security Council, EU and National Defence Commission!
RPG-7 “RAMBO” – portable anti-tank rocket launcher, you have seen it in a Rambo movie, or “Black Hawk Down”! So cute! Its warhead is unguided, but hipsters love and prefer simplicity! Hits of targets are in the hands of God anyway!
Panzerfaust 3 – for ultra-hipsters, who like nice German toys!
MG-42 / MG-45 / MG-3 – yeah, 1200 rounds per minute, no compromise! Serbian origin, including original World War 2 pieces, or modern German version for more reliability (from Afghanistan, retrieved from fallen Bundeswehr soldiers)
Sturmgewehr 44 – which hipster would refuse the first assault rifle in the history of firearms? New semiauto version from civilian market, stolen from a Chinese warehouse, with identification numbers carefully removed
Walther PPK 7.65mm Brausch Silencer – for final liberation through efficient assassination! Fits into every pocket and every palm, so even terrorist sluts can have their new friend, and better, much more useful and sexy, than a diamond! Optional adapter for using Icy Projectiles (IDP) available, so you will leave no trace.
Katyusha Rocket Launcher – from Lebanon (tested by Hezbollah against Israel), BM-21 “Grad” Multiple Rocket Launcher (MRL), with picture of nice Russian woman as patron of lucky hits of enemy forces!
IEDs (Improvised Explosive Devices) – better to use factory-made product, than some risky, unreliable home-made piece! Manufactured using stolen 155mm U.S. artillery shells from Iraqi warehouses and “American Heating” gas bombs… American friends won’t be pleased! Remotely detonated or proximity fuse, if you need to be somewhere else, maybe eating dinner, but missing the explosive show
Booby Traps – using reliable Vietcong designs, masked as whiskey bottles, iPhones, gold bars, diamond caches, or cute seducing toys, so enemy soldiers will be attracted, both those with sons (car toys), and daughters (Barbie dolls), and filled with undetectable plastic explosive: Semtex COLOR (see below). It’s cruel, but assymetric warfare is not some chivalry game.
Hijacker Set – lockpicks, sleeping gas, combat knife, strangling wire, starting cables, vintage 7.65 Walther PPK pistol (James Bond) with silencer, undetectable plastic projectiles and manufacturing number removed, crowbar, map of Europe, including instruction manual, how to drive a heavy truck, for assaults against soft targets
(Chinese) Hacker Set – every guerilla war needs money. If your clandestine foreign government sponsors doesn’t send enough, then either ask Wu Corp for Terrorism Financing, or make your own money, conveniently, almost without risk! Who would rob banks, like that foolish Patty Hearst, if we live in Information Age, and you don’t have to leave your favorite sofa, to make serious money for your righteous fight against oppression? Also, you can execute corporate espionage, and sell the stolen secrets!
Mosin Nagant 1891 Ultra Vintage Sniper Rifle – refurbished pieces, stolen from a Russian Communist Revolution museum, Moscow!
Suicide Bomber Set (The Terrorist Set) – with negative trigger (activated not by pushing, but releasing), so ruthless police snipers can’t be deployed effectively, and there will be a BOOM! TV watchers will love it!
SVD Dragunov Sniper Rifle “JUBA” – famous Russian signature rifle from Iraq, used by reputated Olympic shooter from Lebanon, who made bloody mess in ranks of U.S. Marines. Never caught by invaders, never eliminated, never revealed his identity! This weapon wrote history, sending decimated U.S. invaders home, it was unlawful invasion into Iraq anyway, and her spree of liberation can continue, because righteous fight for freedom never truly ends!
M-82 Anti-Material High-Caliber Sniper Rifle – for the most demanding clients. This toy will be very expensive, if you want also silver High Explosive .50 BMG bullets, to be ultrastylish on the battlefield and to “send the message”, like Marketa Vselichova
Anthrax Beta – “DON’T TRY THIS AT HOME, FOLKS!” – for beginners, masked as home set for young enthusiast chemists (cute box included). Limited effectivity, but every victim pleases more, if you know, that you cooked the miracle yourself, using mortar, pestle and gas mask, like some modern alchymist! Approved by Dr. Thrax product!
Anthrax Gamma – if you mean biological warfare and WMDs seriously, baby! Manufactured by Dr. Thrax himself
Semtex COLOR – devastating power of this upgraded version of famous plastic explosive increased to 286% in comparison with obsolete original from Synthesia Pardubice factory, counter-detection measures for easy smuggling to destination added, unmarked, made in wide pallette of bright joyful colors, so the striking visual style of your sinister guerilla organization can be preserved! Sold in nice transport gift toy box (masked as modeling clay), thus raising no suspicion… before it goes off, of course!
Need some Special Munitions to load into your new weapons?
Wu Corp has everything you can ever need! Just check the limited offer!
See a Related, also highly controversial product:
Wu Corporation’s “Woman’s Destiny” fashion brand offers specialized and highly stylish outfits for female guerilla martyrs (suicide bombers), in their
BLACK WIDOW Terrorist Fashion Collection, inspired by a song by Hilary Duff – “I Want To Blow You Up”
Motto: “Go to heaven chic!”
(Note: there are rumors, this alleged collection was created merely for media purposes, raising interest and publicity, for Wu to have wide advertisement for free)